Engagement

This entry was originally posted on my WordPress account on March 8, 2016.

 

Our engagement ring

I’m the type who doesn’t like to wear jewelries when I was young. I used to hate cosmetics too but that’s a different story.

I was very surprised when @inomon asked me to marry him. It’s not because I didn’t think that he would be the one, but because after all that my parents have been through, I couldn’t believe that someone would like to be with me for the rest of his life.

I knew for a fact that I’m not the best person in the world. I tend to be so insecure about the other girls around him because someone as nice as him deserves someone who will always be there for him, take care of him and reciprocate everything that he does. I’m far from that perfect person and I’m trying my best to be that person every day.

It is not the ring that I’m showing you. I’m letting you know that despite who I’ve become, this guy never fails to forget what I like and who I am.

This ring is a proof that he knows that I don’t like traditional or trendy stuff. He knows that I want to be unique and he chose this for me because he knows me and respects what I want or what I like. It may not be as grand as the mainstream engagement rings in this day and age, but it is the best and most valuable to me.

He still remembers the little things. From that book in National Book Store in Gateway in 2009 up to this special ring that he gave me on the Christmas Eve of 2015, I know that he will be the last boyfriend that I will have.

I would just like to remind myself that this simple guy loved me ever since I met him and I’m thankful that I met him a month after my college graduation. That someone loves me and is willing to spend his lifetime with me using his own hard work and efforts. That no matter how hard we fought, how deafening our silence is, he is still the same guy who never gave up on me for over 6 years and 9 months.

He is the one that I’ve prayed for, my answered prayer and as my sister, Chanel says, my forever love.

An Accidental Date in Intramuros, Manila (#6years&9months)

This entry was originally posted on my WordPress account on February 27, 2016.

I haven’t written anything about this post since I posted it 4 days ago.

These photos were taken last February 23, 2016. Ino and I somewhat celebrated our 81st monthsarry or 6 years and 9 months anniversary in Intramuros, Manila. We initially planned to process my papers at the Archdiocesan Chancery Office Arzobispado de Manila for my baptismal certificate’s amendment. We also planned to go to the church (where I had my baptism) on the same day.

We had lunch at KFC nearby Manila Cathedral, then we went to Intramuros to kill time. We still had about an hour before the Archdiocesan Chancery Office Arzobispado de Manila opens, so we grabbed the only chance we’ve got and decided to go to Intramuros and spend our monthsarry there.

I have been longing to go to Intramuros for a while. I actually told Ino that since we don’t have enough money to spend for our anniversary this year (because we are saving for the wedding,) we could just go on a date at Intramuros instead.

We were actually planning to go this May. However, since we had this rare opportunity, we decided to just take our time and enjoy the beauty of Intramuros during our special day.

Here are some of the photos that I took using my LG G3 camera:

 

It actually feels great to be on a date with someone you love. It also felt great to be in a place that you hoped to visit for a long time. I was actually elated when I realized that I’m not only in a historical place, but I was also with my boyfriend whom will also become my fiance in over a year.

I think there’s still another place in Intramuros that we should visit. It was a certain area that we visited on our field trip when I was in grade school or high school. I remembered that there were kalesa(s) at that place. I could be dreaming or just remembering something from a movie or a TV episode. I’m not really sure. I think we have to go back and try to find it again. Or probably the place has changed over time and I won’t find it anymore. It’s been ages, after all.

There’s a feeling of contentment when I visit historical places or museums. I guess, I may not be as adventurous as the others but the nationalist in me really enjoyed this simple getaway. I hope to go back soon with my husband. 🙂

My 2015

I’d like to express my gratitude to everyone that I’ve met this year.

It’s not only the people that I’ve met that I’m thankful for. I am also treasuring the good times and the bad times that I have experienced all throughout the year.

Life was indeed a roller coaster ride. It was a journey.

From my numerous trials and defeats in becoming a Team Leader, to becoming a soon-to-be-wife. Who would have thought that I would be engaged on Christmas Eve? In front of Ino’s family, he asked for my hand in marriage, and since I’ve been waiting for it for the longest time, I teary-eyed said YES to him.

 

 

our engagement ring
our engagement ring

 

I couldn’t really summarize how my 2015 went. Regina got married with Paolo on November 14. Kelly was baptized in October. The team in the office was reshuffled in November as well.

I met a lot of people. I spent the whole year with the person I love. It took him 6 years, 7 months and 2 days to realize that he really wants me to be a part of his life forever.

Thank you for everyone who became a part of my life. Thank you for those who are still sticking around. Thank you, Lord for everything that you have given me and my loved ones.

And yeah, I am not confused with my faith anymore. I’m planning to go back to church and hear mass regularly again. I guess that’s one of the things that I’d like to do in starting the year right.

Thank you to everyone. I’m sorry to those that I’ve hurt.

Of Marriage Proposals

This blog post was posted on my WordPress account on March 10, 2015.

 

Mag-a-anim na taon na kami. Ilang beses na kaming tinatanong ng kung sino-sino. Relatives, friends, schoolmates, strangers, etc. Kung kelan daw ba ang kasal? At countless times ko na ring sinagot at kinounter ng “Hindi pa napapanahon.” o kaya naman pabiro naming sinasagot ng… “Kung s-sponsor-an niyo ba, sa lalo’t madaling panahon. O kaya bukas!” sabay tawa.

Minsan, hindi ko na din alam ang isasagot ko. Minsan kapag wala na akong kawala sinasabi ko na lang. “Hindi pa niya ako tinatanong, e.”

E, sa hindi pa, e. Ano naman ang magagawa ko dun? Na-p-pressure na din ako sa kada tanong nila. Nakakatakot. Parang mas naiinip pa sila kesa sa akin. Naiinip na din ako, pero anong magagawa ko kung hindi pa siya handa?

Nakakatuwa nga, e. Ilang beses ko mang kulitin si Ino at patutsadahan na handa na ako at hinihintay ko na lang na tanungin niya ako na gusto niya na kong makasama habang buhay, wala e. Hindi pa niya ma-pick-up. Baka hindi pa talaga siya handa. At kung hindi pa siya handa, ayoko siyang pilitin.

Ano ba ang assurance ko na handa na ako? Alam ko na ba ang gagawin ko 5 years from now? Sigurado na ba ako sa magiging kinabukasan ko? Wala namang kasiguraduhan, ‘di ba? Kaya kailangan lagi kang gumagawa at kumikilos.

Nakakatakot ang future. Wala pa akong ipon. For the most part, pang mga panandaliang kailangan lang ang ginagastos ko at mga luho. Hindi pa talaga ako 100% committed sa savings at pag-hahanda para sa future ko. Kelan pa? Pag-30 na ‘ko?

Oo, madaling sabihing mag-b-business ako. Mag-g-ganito ako, ganiyan. Pero sa’n naman ako kukuha ng capital? Ng pang-loan? E, wala pa nga akong napapatunayan. And I’m going to be 27 this year. Tapos mag-aasawa na ‘ko?

Madaling sabihing pag-mag-asawa na kayo kargo niyo na ang isa’t-isa. Pero ayokong maging pabigat kay Ino. Ayokong maging housewife forevs. Gusto ko kumikita ako at hindi umaasa sa pera niya. Gusto kong may kinikita pa din ako at nagagamit ko pa din ang utak at napag-aralan ko kahit part-time lang ang trabaho na yun. Gusto kong maging independent pa din kahit na mag-asawa na kami. Gets?

And marriage? In real time… papel, legalization, magarbong handaan at bisita at preparasyon, yan ang dating ng kasal sa akin. Ilang beses ko na ding dinaan sa biro ang pag-papakasal sa huwes. Aanhin ko ang magarbong entourage, magandang venue, magandang damit, etc. Kung wala naman na kaming kakainin pag-katapos?

Of course, may ideal wedding ako. Ilang kasal na din ang dinaluhan ko pero hindi ko pa din masabi o makita sa sarili ko yung gusto kong wedding set-up. Ang alam ko lang konti lang ang gusto kong imbitahan at ayaw kong mag imbita ng hindi ko close o hindi ko kilala. I mean, solb na ko sa pag-pirma lang ng kontrata sa huwes. I’m not really after the grand celebration. Hindi naman ako nakikipag-paligsahan sa iba, e. Ayoko ding ikumpara ang kasal ko kay ganito o ganiyan.

Pero, in the end… kami pa din ni Ino ang mag-dedecision. Kaya siguro hindi niya pa ako ma-tanong kasi nag-iipon pa siya ng pera at ng para sa kinabukasan namin.

What’s with marriage anyways?

Produkto ako ng broken family. Hindi ako proud dun pero hindi din naman maalis sa isip ko na pwedeng maulit ang mga nangyari na nuon. Pa’no kung bigla na lang akong iwan ni Ino pag-ka may anak na kami. Sa ngayon, oo. Sasabihin niyang hindi niya gagawin yun at hindi siya ganung klase ng tao. Pero, pa’no na lang kung makahanap siya ng kabit during our marriage? Siguro, isa din yun sa iniisip niya kaya ayaw pa niya akong ayain mag-pakasal. Perhaps, hindi pa siya sigurado sa akin. Baka hindi pa ako ang final answer.

Actually, na-apektuhan ako sa nabasa kong article ni Nina sa Pep. Nabanggit niya kasi na matagal na sila nung boyfriend niya. Sabi niya 8 years na sila at hindi daw dapat sa kanya manggaling ang plano ng pag-papakasal. Hindi daw sa nag-hihintay siya pero kung darating man daw yun, e di darating at kung hindi naman, okay lang.

Nabanggit din niya yung narealize ko sa mga long engagements. Yung tipong mahigit 5 years ng mag-karelasyon tapos nag-hiwalay ng tuluyan. Tapos nakakilala ng iba, naging sila for a year tapos nag-pakasal agad. So, wala daw talaga yun sa tagal.

Kaso, hypocrisy aside… inalagaan mo yung relasyon ng sobrang tagal, pinag-laban mo, nag-invest ka ng oras, buhay, sama ng loob, saya, sakit, lahat lahat na. Tapos ganun ganun lang? Hihiwalayan mo at mag-hahanap ka ng iba tapos mag-papakasal ka agad? Hindi ba parang gaguhan?

Tingin ko kasi sa ganun, hindi sila masaya dahil pinili na lang nila yung taong nakilala nila agad. Not minding kung anong klaseng tao yun. Walang pahinga. Parang rebound lang tapos go na, pakasal na. Parang asan ang foundation dun? Kakakilala mo lang tapos ganun? E, alam naman natin na one or two years… honeymoon stage pa lang yun sa relationship. Wala pa yun sa kalingkingan ng mga pag-subok na pinag-daanan niyo nung previous partner mo… tapos kasal agad?

Eto, opinyon ko lang naman. Ano bang pinag-sasasabi ko, e hindi ko pa naman na-e-experience yung ganung scenario. Kuro-kuro at assumptions ko lang. Nadadala lang ako ng observations and prejudice ko.

The way I see it, yung ganung klase ng marriage parang… pinakasalan mo lang out of fear na wala ka ng makikitang taong mag-mamahal sa’yo o mag-tatangkang mag-propose sa’yo. Or dahil yung taong yun lang ang nag-lakas ng loob na ayain kang mag-pakasal. Dahil yung taong gusto mo, kahit gaano ka katagal na nag-hintay, wala. Natuyo na ang lahat ng natutuyo at hindi dapat matuyo, pero hindi ka pa din natatanong.

Opinion ko lang naman ‘yun. Ano bang alam ko di ba? Pero, may sense naman, di ba?

Siguro, dyan lang umiikot ang fear ko na hindi ako maalok ng pag-papakasal. Somewhat fear, kasi hindi naman din ako mamamatay kung hindi niya ako tatanungin. Pero sigurado akong mag-tataka ako. Sa ngayon, kaya ko pang mag-hintay ngayong taong to or sa susunod. Kailangan ko lang sigurong iwasan yung mga taong tanong ng tanong kung kelan nga ba ako ikakasal. Kasi after that, ano?

Nakakatakot din yung life after getting married, e. Siyempre bubuo ka na ng family atsaka hindi lang sarili mo ang iintindihin mo pati asawa mo. Hindi ka na din pwedeng mag-alsa-balutan kapag hindi kayo nag-kasundo o nag-ka-murahan na kayo.

Siguro, sa akin lang.. sana siguraduhin lang ni Ino na hindi na siya mag-hahanap ng iba kapag tinanong niya ako. Mag-hihintay ako kahit matagal basta ipapangako lang niya at papatunayan sa akin na once na tinanong niya ako kung gusto ko siyang makasama habang buhay, sigurado siyang ako na talaga at hindi na mag-iiba yung gusto niya.

Ako din naman, siguro kapag dumating ‘yung time na yun, worth it yun kasi napag-isipan na namin ng mabuti at talagang sigurado na kami sa isa’t-isa. Hindi na mababawi pa ‘yun at wala ng makakapigil sa aming dalawa.

Siguro, it just takes time. Hindi pwedeng agad-agad dahil madami pang bagay ang dapat na iconsider. Hindi naman kami nag-mamadali. Enjoy-enjoy na lang siguro muna.

🙂